Up to Date

Wow, life seems to go by fast when you actually get some time to just sit and think about it.

Where am I right now?

Well, I was just looking for a piece of paper with some data on it but I can't seem to find it. My room is a total mess. I have time to clean it, I just rather wouldn't. I feel like I'm in the need for more posters or artwork or something to decorate my room. It feels very sterile and impersonal. Maybe that's why I can't sleep. The zombies don't help either.

I dye grass...

So I'm in school, at U of T. My thoughts on Toronto? Hm. I love that its always busy; there's always someone out on the street. There's lots of new things to look at, somethings that I never thought I'd see anywhere but the internet. But apparently the internet has laid its bestial hands on Toronto. There's street art, public chess boards, giant statues, pubs. That is the third time the street cleaner has passed my window tonight. Toronto, for all its artsy and busy-ness, is actually quite predictable. Every night at 1015-10:30 the street cleaner comes by my window. Somewhere between 11:00 and 11:30 sirens pass. Then at around 12:45 a street racer zooms by. It would be a strange night when I don't hear those things. The windows and walls are not very capable of keeping noises outside. I never really feel silent. Restlessness of the soul, the ears, the body. I don't think I'd be able to live in Toronto. I need to take a breather every once in a while.

By the way, I'm the queen of digressions tonight.

The bags under my eyes are getting too heavy to carry but I'm not tired. I feel that I could stay up all week and still not feel tired.

Classes are okay. I feel like I'm in elementary school again. Never have I had teachers in high school or university that treated the students like little kids. I'm filling out charts and reading little anecdotes, getting off my butt and having digressive conversations. Better than aggressive conversations I guess.

I've become more confrontational with people. I can see why I used to not be keen on people. It's not necessarily there fault either. I believe I'm just argumentative by nature. My knee jerk reaction to most things is to disagree and that comes to people as well. I think I'm also a bit of a control freak.

I haven't exactly felt physically well since I've been at school again. Is it the Toronto air? Is it the thought of the impending future? Or is it the flu?

My fingers want to type more self-centered sentences. I'll hopefully be more coherent in the morning.

G'night!

-c.s.