Being a Friend

Being a friend is hard sometimes. You feel really terrible when you let someone down and, despite how selfish it is, you feel even worse when you are let down, left out, or just plain ignored. I have purged quite a bit from my life, deciding what to keep and what to toss. A lot of stuff I have very fond memories of and I have a story for everything in my room and everything that I have held onto for all these years. But now looking at some of the stuff I still have in my room makes me sad and just a bit angry. After years of friendship things can just all of a sudden stop and you don't realize how fast they stop. You try so hard to hang on to the past when sometimes you just have to let go and move on. Promises of being friends forever now seems like childish wishes. Nothing gold can stay, or so the saying goes. So despite trying to hold on to something that has vanished years ago it is time to let go and let be. Say hi to me in the store, wave to me across the street, and ask me how life is without really caring. Make more empty promises of getting together like strangers meeting for the first time. Who I was is not who I am and I have got to stop pretending that I am anyone else I am not. I no longer know your favourite colour, your boyfriend's name, or the colour of your eyes. Memories will remain as the future fades away and I will laugh and cry as I visit each one. I will laugh for what we were and I will cry for what we were not able to continue being. May you continue to make new memories with new friends. Gather new friends but remember the old; for one of them's silver and the other is gold...nothing gold can stay...




-c.s.